#do you think i could show this post to a psychologist and get diagnosed with adhd without any further testing

[paradigmsofbrittaperry]

idk if I can express how much life I have lived since I was last active on here. like I had stories before, but they were all mostly from high school. now, I’ve spent the last two years as a mostly single woman with her own apartment, doing and teaching band, working and going to school, stumbling into all sorts of crazy shit. I almost got tricked into working for a scammy marketing agency run by a former NFL player. I *did* work for a company that monograms cheap shit that had “wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere” painted on the bathroom walls. two of my best friends asked me to set them up with each other - the catch being that I used to be deeply horribly in love with one of them (and both parties knew about this) - and yet I *did* because they asked nicely and they’re still together to this day. I went to a Wild Party show and attended the afterparty they held in their hotel’s bar and the guitarist bought me a drink. I WAS THERE IN THE NISSAN STADIUM FOR THE SPEAK NOW (TAYLOR’S VERSION) ANNOUNCEMENT. I dated a 24 year old when I was 20 and it was terrible and I had to teach him that there’s more to giving hickeys than just fucking biting. when we made out for the first time, half of our friends were asleep in my living room and I was just staring up at my popcorn ceiling, wondering where I’d gone so wrong in life so as to end up laying in my bed with a 24 year old man biting my neck, and yet I STILL DATED HIM AFTER THAT. I dated another guy who told me before we were officially dating that he hoped we would never break up and offhandedly mentioned marriage and kids a handful of times. I try to make good dating decisions but they always tend to blow up in my face. PSA to 18-20 year olds, don’t date 24 year olds. if they’re 24 with a whole ass 9 to 5 job and can’t find someone who’s in the same stage of life as them who wants to be with them, then they’re probably severely emotionally stunted. they should *at least* want to be with someone who can also legally drink. this post went off the rails but the point is that 2020 Bri was sitting here dreaming and fantasizing about what life would be like when she could get back out in the real world and live on her own. 2023 Bri has had many amazing and incredible experiences that she wouldn’t trade for anything, but also wishes that her life would switch out of sitcom mode from time to time.

[nestasminiaturepegasus]

Is Nesta Archeron a Narcissist?

Disclaimer: I am not a professional. I am a university student who has been studying psychology for 3.5 years. A lot of research and time goes into this post. If you do have a personality disorder (PD), you are NOT a bad person. If you think you have a PD, do not self-diagnose from this post; please speak to a psychiatrist.

From afar, especially to those who do not like Nesta, it feels like a no-brainer to diagnose her with NPD. However, being one of the most complex personality disorders, it is important to consider context, background, and the full spectrum of her behaviour and motivations.

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) According to the DSM-5, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following criteria:

Grandiosity: Exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Nesta has stated in several instances, especially throughout ACOSF when we see her internal monologue and self-hatred, that she does not deserve anything—love, kindness, etc.

“I deserve Eris.” Her voice cracked.

“I do not deserve you, and I never, ever will.”

“I am worthless and I am nothing.”

“...and still he somehow loved me. I didn't deserve it, but he did. And I let him die.”

While, yes, NPD is generally associated with traits like low-self esteem, Nesta’s expressions of self-deprecation and unworthiness point more towards a profound internalized sense of shame and self-blame, rather than grandiosity. This suggests a deeper psychological complexity possibly stemming from unresolved trauma or guilt, rather than the characteristic inflated self-importance seen in NPD.

Fantasy: Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

I am not going to touch on fantasy or fantasizing, because it just did not occur in the book. But, if I had to say anything, it's that if anyone was fantasizing about great power or success, it was Amren, wanting to use Nesta's powers behind her back.

Need for Admiration: Requires excessive admiration 

Nesta has not once been seen canonically to fish for compliments, wish for compliments, or even respond well to kindness—because of, as previously mentioned, her self-hatred.

“Don't touch me. Don't- don't be kind to me.”

While we know that Nesta longs for kindness deep down, and that through the valkyries, she learned to accept it, Nesta is often seen rejecting kindness, rather than seeking it out.

Sense of Entitlement: Sense of entitlement 

This is the big one—the one that gets everybody up in arms. I would like to begin by stating that even I, someone who loves Nesta, can see a sense of entitlement in the first ACOTAR book, and to say otherwise would be silly. However, even if she a) showed this trait enough for it to be thought of (by psychologists) as a direct NPD trait, it is not shown canonically enough to constitute diagnosis (traits must be pervasive and consistent across various relationships and situations), and in order to diagnose NPD, as stated by the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit five or more of these traits to be considered for diagnosis.

So, while Nesta has been seen to exhibit entitled or selfish behaviours, it a) is not pervasive enough to constitute a direct correlation to NPD, and b) does not simply mean that she has NPD. Remember, exhibiting occasional entitlement ≠ Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Exploitative Behaviours: Takes advantage of others to achieve own ends 

This is another argument I commonly see regarding Nesta and NPD. For starters, there is one instance where we see Nesta exhibit something that could be perceived as exploitative behaviour, which occurs in the first book.

Feyre asks Nesta to chop wood, and Nesta requests Feyre to do it instead, citing that her hands are more 'well-suited' for the task.

I acknowledge that Nesta’s unwillingness to chop wood and her attempt to have Feyre do it instead can be perceived as subtly exploitative behaviour. However, in the context provided, Nesta’s refusal to help could be interpreted as a response to her deep-seated resentment towards her father's neglect and the influence of her upbringing. Her actions do not inherently constitute exploitative behaviour towards Feyre. Instead, they reflect her choice to withhold assistance as a form of protest or to compel their father to take responsibility for their well-being.

Exploitative behaviour typically involves taking advantage of someone's vulnerability or goodwill for personal gain or to avoid personal responsibility. In Nesta's case, her actions seem more like a stance against enabling her father's neglect rather than exploiting her sister. However, I acknowledge this could be perceived as subtly exploitative because, despite deeper reasons, she relies on Feyre’s assistance (even though she resents it, and would rather she didn’t).

Lack of Empathy: Lacks empathy; unwilling to recognize or identify with others' feelings and needs

Let’s start with Feyre’s own words:

“I think Nesta feels everything—sees too much; sees and feels it all. And she burns with it. Keeping that wall up helps from being overwhelmed, from caring too greatly.”

Beyond that, there are several instances where we see Nesta show great empathy for those around her, even when it brings her no real gain:

“What I care about is making sure no children—fae or human—are harmed.”

“Neither of you is to blame for what happened. Neither of you failed anyone.”

“It’s the only way,” (willingness to give up her life for her friends during the rite).

Unwilling to leave Cassian at the prison, or during battle in ACOWAR.

Willingness to do anything to keep Elain from falling further traumatized, even if it was overbearing at times. 

It is seen time and time again that Nesta has empathy and the capacity to show great care for others. I do agree that the way she treated Feyre was not how I would treat my own siblings; however, that does not make her apathetic—especially when she has shown care for Feyre since. (The fact that it didn’t happen until Feyre nearly died does not matter in the context of NPD, sorry).

Envy: Often envious of others or believes others are envious of them.

Throughout the series, we do not really see Nesta show envy towards others. She may have potentially envied her wealthy peers after falling into poverty—though this is more a case of resentment towards their refusal to assist her family. Additionally, there is a sense of envy towards the Inner Circle and Feyre’s new family, though it’s more accurate to describe it as longing.

From Nesta’s perspective, Feyre starts a new family—one that has treated Nesta poorly from the beginning. Nesta does not feel comfortable around these people, especially those who treat her disrespectfully (like Mor). While Feyre had every right to extend her family to those who love and care for her, it is also fair for Nesta to long for the sisterly bond she witnesses between Feyre, Mor, and Amren.

Whether or not Nesta should have handled her relationships with Feyre better in the earlier books has nothing to do with a diagnosis of NPD.

Arrogant: Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

And finally, we have another of the commonly used explanations behind Nesta’s tiktok diagnosis of NPD. Arrogance, much like grandiosity, is not canonically demonstrated by Nesta throughout the series. Nesta is seen to carry herself with a sense of purpose, composure, and confidence—this is not inherently arrogance. Nesta was raised from a young age to marry someone of high social status; a lot of her behaviours are a result of social learning (where behaviours are learned by observing others and the consequences of those behaviours) or conditioning (where behaviours are learned through reinforcement and punishment) rather than arrogance or entitlement.

As mentioned earlier, we see just how little Nesta thinks about herself, and if we look from Cassian’s perspective that is seen by the others as well,

“He’d seen her self-loathing and anger, but hadn’t realized how much she’d been aware of it.”

Nesta does not expect to be treated with high status by others; instead, she often allows others to speak down to her, internalizing it as a learned response from her upbringing and experiences. This behaviour reflects complex psychological dynamics where individuals may internalize negative perceptions of themselves due to past experiences or societal conditioning.

Finally,

This post is not meant to be an excuse for Nesta’s past behaviours, nor is it an attempt to get you to like her—you not liking Nesta does not disrupt my inner peace at all, please feel free to continue. However, throwing around serious personality disorders after a simple Google search is harmful. With NPD being one of the most complex personality disorders, it is imperative to approach discussions with nuance and understanding.

Additionally, claiming Nesta has NPD simply because she is someone you don’t like, or a ‘terrible person,’ is harmful to those who do have NPD and perpetuates negative and prejudiced ideologies of the disorder. Please remember that this is a fictional character. There is no need to tear down real people to try and prove your dislike of Nesta Archeron.

(This information is all from either my Abnormal Psychology courses (year 2 and 3), from the National Institute of Health, or from Psychiatry.org).

[sophieinwonderland]

Additional points that we...KIND OF made in two different posts yesterday (not even having to do with the current debacle, just...in general) that we feel is very important, and are just going to re-post in here:

You should believe endogenics exist first and foremost because they tell you they exist.

It's nice that science is starting to support us and the DSM and ICD are doing great at getting better for that, but it's still the weapon of our oppressors.

Just a few decades ago, you'd be anti-science for saying transgender people AREN'T a mental illness.

It is very, very easy to see how that can change back once you realize progress is not linear. "Progress is not linear" is the part individuals seem to forget (and we're not gonna lie, we sometimes do too, because that's terrifying to think about).

We feel like discourse wouldn't be discourse anymore if people acknowledged that because a lot of them would be forced to, we guess, question the acceptability of targeting X over Y and Z, and why they give A and B more authority over how X experiences their lives than even over X — if we can use letters in placement of actual groups of people here for a sec.

<Context note for people who do not know us, Rusanya: we agree with Sophie on a ton of points and enjoy her blog. We have an anti-psychiatry [institution, not the science itself, although we feel only bad-faith readers would see that?] and pro-mad-pride spin on our world view though, compared to Sophie. So sometimes we like throwing random things in her inbox because she's like the One Person who can pick our brain and it feels like she is not being an asshole.>

I do think in an ideal world, people would be respected for their identities regardless of opinions of authority figures.

But at the same time, I think the best path to acceptance is to direct arguments to the world you live in, not the one you want. And that means taking things that have historically been weapons of oppression and turning them against the oppressors.

Because the fact is that psychologists and psychiatrists are seen as a valid authority on matters of psychology.

Is there a possibility that the pendulum could swing the other way, that hard anti-endo sentiment could somehow take root in the psychiatric community? Sure. And if that happens, we'll have to adapt and figure out how to deal with that to the best of our ability.

But... I don't think it will happen. I mean, we already know the Stanford tulpa study is going to show neurological differences in tulpamancers. Whatever those differences may be, I think endogenic plurality being accepted as a real psychological phenomenon is inevitable.

On the other hand, we do have to acknowledge that we've seen backslides before. The False Memory Syndrome Foundation in the 90s successfully managed to turn an entire generation against trauma survivors and their therapists, and made diagnosing DID toxic to the point that therapists completely refused to diagnose it. So we can't say what the future will hold for certain.

To me though, I think this just means it's important to be vigilant, and try to foster positive relationships with the psychiatric community.

Because I also think most people who go into psychiatry do so because they genuinely want to help people. Yes, there are bad psychiatrists and there are abusive ones. And there are well-meaning ones who end up causing more harm than good because they think they know better. There are a lot of problems in psychiatry that need to be addressed. But I don't feel that fostering an adversarial relationship is a productive way to accomplish our community's goals.

[payasita]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that to get your ADHD meds (I can relate to some of it as a fellow ADHDer in Canada), but omg, your writing is so talented!

Your descriptions of how you went from one person to another and one medication to the next in the process are fucking hilarious! It gave me a lot of catharsis just reading your post because I was only diagnosed a few months ago as an adult, despite showing symptoms of ADHD for most of my life and getting mislabelled as “mentally disabled,” and I���ve felt a lot of that frustration

My psychologist even told me during my diagnosis appointment that I must have developed good strategies for managing my executive dysfunction during university or else I “wouldn’t have made it this far in life.” Sure, if you call chronic sleep deprivation to complete assignments at the last minute so I don’t fail even more classes a “good strategy” 🙃

Anyway, best of luck with the meds!

LMAO THANK YOU it was very cathartic to write ngl, that's prolly been building up for a good while now i think

i'm so sorry you went through that too. the fact is that people are really really adaptable when we have to be, but like, god, sometimes we just shouldnt HAVE to be, yknow?

fuck bad doctors, and hey while im at it: hey everyone, if struggling has become your baseline, that doesnt mean youre NOT struggling anymore. that kind of thinking is why it took me to my mid 20s to seek help at all! i didn't have to wait this long. but i didn't think it was that bad

it was! it could have been better! hopefully it will be now. i deserve that and so do the rest of us.

best of luck to you too, thanks for the kind words!!

[trippin-over-my-fandoms]

The tv show Dexter is my Roman Empire

I absolutely fucking love the show Dexter and its title character but I’m on my rewatch and ooooohhhh my gosh it pisses me off so bad especially with knowing everything that comes next. And you wanna know why? Because Dexter Morgan was done a terrible disservice. And look I know you have to have conflict to have a show and I love it for the complexities I’m probably reading too far into but its so frustrating to see it all go down. Which if your like me is how you get sucked into wanting Dex to come out on top and get his justice but then New Blood comes in and wakes you up and you’re like left like …. whoa.

Let me explain-

* Disclaimer: this is my personal interpretation of the character of Dexter Morgan in the tv show Dexter, I am in no way a licensed therapist or psychologist but I am neurodivergent and diagnosed with Borderline Personality (potentially ADD and OCD but we’ve yet to explore those in full) and my view is heavily influenced on my own experiences with mental health. This is also not a “oh we should give all bad people a chance” post this is on Dexter specifically thanks *

Before I started my rewatch I was always on how Dexter frequently expresses that he has no emotions or does not have the typical range someone who’s “normal” would. He often thinks on emotionally difficult situations as trivial and he cannot put himself in someone else’s shoes. But he is not void of emotions. He very clearly cares for Debra, Rita, and his children. When Brian is a threat to Deb’s life he is incredibly protective of her, when he’s forced to kill Brian it so visibly upsets him, going through therapy and coincidentally unlocking painful memories, Brian’s death leading to a nervousness that hurts his ability to kill, the pain of losing Rita and his son being left the same way he was as a child, etc etc

Now you might say hey these are all negative emotions but there’s plenty of examples of positive as well. Anytime he receives closure and is put at ease, endorphins released from his addiction to killing, spending any time with his children (I fully believe its not an “act” especially the longer he’s with them), feeling like someone sees and understands him for who he is and accepts him despite all his flaws (the absolute most painful imo), etc etc

A lot of these examples come from the first season alone (also that I’ve seen twice, I’ll update perhaps as I continue) where he has so much potential for healing that I believe gets ripped from him more and more as the show goes on.

It is my firm belief that Harry groomed Dexter to be a serial killer and enabled his negative state of mind therefore ruining any chance at healing from trauma and dealing with a clear neurodivergency he exhibited for whatever sick sort of fantasy he had and could act out through his adopted son. And it pisses me off to no fucking end.

Constantly we are fed as a core foundation of the show and main character that Harry Morgan is who “helped” Dexter live the life of a serial killer. He taught him how to get away with numerous murders, how to avoid police suspicion, how to channel his desires, how to dispose of a body, and most importantly how to fake being like everyone else. He didn’t give Dexter a true chance. You don’t look at a damn child who kills an animal and think “oh he’s gonna be like that for forever so let’s either get rid of him or teach him how to do it safely” (but if you do- fuck you dude), no, that’s a CHILD and in Harry’s case one he KNEW came from a horribly traumatic background. You see a child clearly struggling and you help them. You don’t look at them and tell them that everything they have ever done wrong is part of an evil they will never be rid of.

Dexter looked up to Harry. Dexter and Deb both saw Harry, as most children do their parents, as some super being who knows all and could never do wrong. So when an idol looks at you and tells you for so many years that you are a monster and there is no cure to this darkness inside of you? You believe them. It becomes your identity. Because surely they know everything so why would they be wrong? Why would you question it? You go along with what they say to do and the only relief you get from your trauma is the destructive way you are taught to express it. In Dexter’s case that is taking a life. It doesn’t help that Harry hid so much from him. It doesn’t help that he made Dexter feel as if he was alone instead of getting him proper help and not taking advice from a gosh damned therapist that also grooms children into being serial killers.

Get him into taxidermy or even encourage bloodwork from an earlier age, teach him to be a coroner or mortician or euthanasia tech. Get him someone to listen to how he feels if you can’t do it yourself so he feels heard and seen so he doesn’t grow up thinking that his problems are terrifying so he must bottle them up because no one can handle them. Dexter spends so much time feeling so alone when all he needed for years was someone to just listen to him and not be afraid. And it’s honestly so damn sad as someone who spent so long feeling similarly.

I mentioned I have borderline personality and while I don’t often experience the rage commonly associated with it I do heavily experience depression and anxiety frequently as a result of struggling to understand my connections with others. Similar to Dexter I encounter hardships with empathy and I constantly second guess my relationships with everyone to the point it was so bad in junior high and high school that I began to believe that no one would ever understand me and I would need to keep my thoughts bottled up. I struggled with intrusive thoughts that ranged from self harm to sexual whether it was of me or of others. I find dead things and anatomy fascinating as well as how graphic deaths can occur interesting. I’m not phased by certain things people deem so morbid. Until I got therapy to accept myself and my interests and understand that I am not my thoughts I felt crazy and weird and like I was a square block in a puzzle box. So it is heartbreaking to see Dexter treated like a monster.

I love how New Blood went and I love that Dexter died. I don’t believe as much as I feel bad for him that he “deserved” any sort of happier ending in fact I feel like it fit the story very well. And I above all absolutely loved that Harrison broke the cycle. The show to me overall is terribly tragic and it’s difficult to watch at points because of the statements i have made. But I do love it. It’s very entertaining. Very thought provoking.

And to those who find themself in similar thought patterns to myself or even relating to Dexter as I do- you are not your thoughts. You are not too far gone and you are not any sort of monster for thinking those things. You are cared for you are loved you are seen you are not alone.

[redley-of-many-noodles]

Hello there,

Welcome to my blog.

I’m Redley. Relatively new to Tumblr still, but I’ve been finding that I’m comfy here. Though it still feels awkward (thanks, dysphoria), I prefer she/her pronouns. I don’t mind they/them, but… meh. Note that Redley is neither my legal or chosen name; it is solely a handle, and I will only tell you my chosen name if I feel comfortable with you. If I extend that trust, please treat it with respect. If you don’t, I will remember.

Here’s the main stuff I’m comfortable sharing or want you to know about me:

1) I’m transfem, but haven’t had an opportunity to do much actual transitioning yet. Dislike my voice, adore my hair. My luscious, glorious, flowing hair.

1.5) I am likely pansexual, but I haven’t done enough research to know for sure. All I know is, people are… well, people are hot.

2) I live in Florida, but was not raised here. The climate and scenery are nice; the local government sucks ass though. Also, I miss snow.

3) I’m a diagnosed autistic, falling somewhere on the high-functioning end of the spectrum. I’m on prescribed antidepressants, but have not been able to find a psychologist/psychiatrist yet because it’s fucking Florida.

4) There are a lot of things and people I don’t understand, but I’m always open to learning. Trying new food is a special passion of mine, and I’ve met some quite fascinating new people since starting this blog. (*eoughck* @potentially-a-poser *aucghk* @analogue-system *ahem*)

5) I will not tolerate hateful behavior. You will be immediately blocked for shit like denying any of the shades of aro/ace individuals as being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. If you see me spreading misinformation or saying something that excludes members of the community, please tell me. I’ll research the matter, as well as review any sources you send me.

5.5) okay so I think I’m demiromantic

6) I do not mind being tagged or sent asks or otherwise brought into conversations. People who abuse that will likely get blocked, but whatever your social anxiety is telling you probably comes nowhere near ‘abuse’ in my book. Anonymous asks are enabled, but that can likewise change if the feature is abused. Hate asks will be blocked, naturally.

7) I would prefer being asked before you directly message me. If you don’t, there is a possibility you’ll be blocked, but it’s not a guarantee. I don’t want me and my friends’ conversations getting buried by anything.

8) If you consistently and frequently post tiktok/reddit memes with little to no commentary, I may block you simply out of annoyance should you repeatedly show up on my dash. It’s not personal. If something about you makes me suspicious or uncomfortable, but not outright offended, I’ll most likely notify you of my reason before I block you.

9) Age: pick a number between 1 and 100 because it’s none of your fucking business. None of you are entitled to any of my personal information, regardless of the reason. I will share only what I want.

My Behaviors

There are certain things I gravitate towards or away from on this site. Here’s some:

1) I am most likely to follow people who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, are mentally ill, or are dealing with some variety of personality disorder. This is mostly just due to the fact that I find the most common ground with those people. But even those who I have little common ground with, I’ll tend to find very interesting.

2) I don’t mind things like roleplay and hornyposting on my dash, but will almost certainly not interact myself, or make original posts in that category. More extreme examples won’t necessarily get you blocked or unfollowed, but… well, my filtered tags list may grow.

3) I don’t always tag reblogs. This may mean that my followers will see random things that caught my interest. It could be art, shitposting, tender affirmations, politics, or just goofy-ass Tumblr shit. If something I regularly reblog/post about bothers you and isn’t properly tagged, let me know.

4) I am discovering that maybe, I might, perhaps, be a little bit nosy. When I see someone receiving hate or suffering and stressed, I am likely to take it upon myself to do or say something to try to make them feel better. If I bother you with this, I will not be hurt or offended if you block me. In general, I will do my best to be respectful of it when people draw boundaries, so don’t hesitate to draw any you feel necessary.

5) If your intentions are pure, you will likely find that I try to be forgiving and/or understanding of your mistakes, at least in regards to interacting with me. (The /or is a very important distinction.)

6) I will often be attracted to dark, tragic, or dystopic works of art/fiction. I get a form of catharsis from such media, and some of my writing will reflect that.

That’s about it.

That’s all the important stuff I can think of, aside from tags which are at the end. Still, this post may be updated or rewritten in the future. In general, just be kind and open-minded, and we’ll get along fine. Even if you disagree with me, as long as you are civil and rational about things, I’ll likely have no problem interacting with you.

Be safe, and be yourself! <3

🇵🇸🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

My Tags:

#redley’s playlist - Some of my favorite songs!

#redley’s photos - Photos taken by/of me!

#writing - Writing related things and occasionally stuff I’ve made! (#poetry will also contain some of my work)

#let me just frame this one - My personal favorite posts by others. Put that right up on the wall!

#cw/tw: [content] - I will tag posts that I recognize may be disturbing to others with content warnings and/or trigger warnings. This way, you can filter content that may be harmful to your mental health to view. If a post is missing an important one, let me know.

[peachjagiya]

Regarding this post…https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/747812063351635968/oh-can-i-submit-a-controversial-opinion-we-all

I’ve always chalked Taehyung’s “otherness” as mentioned by Namjoon in BV2, honestly, to be about his craving physical closeness-especially with Jungkook. There are plenty of times when their touchiness gets a side eye from the hyungs until they must have mutually decided to ignore it. Taehyung must have been loved as a boy, a lot. He doesn’t have any inhibitions when it comes to physical proximity (unless he was being forced to kiss Hobi-although I think that was more about being offended by that-it felt disrespectful for a laugh and titillation). I think his exuberance, creative mind and busyness was probably a lot for a bunch of teenagers to deal with.

I’m not a doctor or psychologist, but Jungkook is your classic introvert with some social anxiety and a smidge of being on the spectrum. That shows up in his ability to mimic Taehyung and many other things. He covers his ears and eyes to this day…he has consistent stims, too. He pours his passion onto the stage and it must tick a lot of boxes for him.

I'm cautious about labelling them with neurodivergence they may not identify or be diagnosed with but yes, I recognise some of those traits in JK. Like I said, the recognition of neurodivergent tendencies is as important to me personally as it is for someone to be diagnosed. For example, anecdotally, my little boy is six and also covers his ears and stims a lot - he absolutely idolises Jungkook. It's pretty huge and special to see your idols reflecting yourself back at you.

I think you're right about Tae. He's a comfort seeker. Though I'd add he's also othered for things like his speech patterns.

In that weird sad Namjoon, Tae, Jimin and JK live from December, Jimin comments on Taetae language. I know it was a thing they referenced often but Tae made a point to say he didn't do that anymore and seemed a bit defensive, like he'd made a real effort not to talk in a way that was weird to others and yet, it was still a thing he could be made fun of for. Made fun of in, I think, the most loving way but still a bit of fun being made.

Of course there are ways in which they're all teased about various things. Yoongi being grandpa, Jin's wide shoulders, Namjoon's clumsiness... But they've never been subjected to a whole thing where they're "weird" as a character trait. It makes the teasing feel a little more uncomfortable to me.

But I'm not Tae. Maybe he's fine with it or used to it.

The Hobi kiss was a weird moment. One of few times I've felt very uncomfortable about an interaction to the point where I hate watching it back. Tae's face after... Yeah. No. Not for me.

[alovelyburn]

I am a little worried this ask could be easily misunderstood as being in bad intent, especially seeing the amount of fans assigning every possible diagnosis, I mean the ones they consider “evil” (which I do find pretty ableist to be honest), to Griffith. Nevertheless I am quite interested in your opinion on the matter. So. Would you say that Griffith has some types of mental disorder? I do not know anything about you so I do not know if you have proper knowledge to actually determine him as such, nor if you are comfortable with answering this type of question, obviously feel free to ignore me, hiding behind anon, trying to get some answers from you😅. But I must admit, I can see some signs of different types in him? although it could be just projecting. I doubt it could be Miura actual intention, but I could be wrong, he did surprise me with his knowledge and openness in his interviews already. Doesn’t matter if you decide to post this, or not, I’m thankful for your content brightening my everyday and making poor little heart who feels such deep weird connection with Griffith so happy ❤️

Honestly, I mostly ignore the weirdos when it comes to Griffith diagnoses so I have no idea wtf they’re saying about him - I mostly see a lot of "sociopath" and "narcissist" but he doesn't actually qualify for either one so like.... mostly it’s a bunch of pop culture-fed armchair psychologists talking shit about characters they don't like.

AS FOR ME

I do know a fair amount about psychology - I guess more than your average person in an armchair playing Freud - but I am in no way a medical professional or qualified to be diagnosing people. Characters are extra difficult because we can only judge from what the writer puts on the page and even the most complex character is ruled by like... story logic, which obviously doesn't apply to real life.

Which is to say take it with a grain of salt regardless of who's saying it, but since you asked...

...for me personally, Griffith mostly comes off as having I guess a combination of ptsd (along with almost everyone in the series, lmao) and what's colloquially called Smiling Depression, which is a form of major depression with atypical presentation where the person internalizes their symptoms so that their emotional issues are invisible from the outside despite being just as debilitating internally.

If you're curious about it, you can read about that here, and here's a nutshell rundown from someone who is, let's stress this again, not a mental health professional:

The people most prone to this particular variant of depression will tend to be ambitious or perfectionistic. They may feel like a fraud - they may not even realize that what they're feeling is depression and certainly not a lot of people outside would know as they appear to be active, high-functioning individuals - even unusually high-functioning. They may even be seen as "perfect," with a steady job and healthy active social life, but they have few real friends or confidants and often unhealthy coping mechanisms. They often have poor  self-esteem and suffer from low self-worth. They may think that showing their feelings would be perceived as weakness and like they don't want to burden people with their problems. They may not have the energy deficits that people with more typical depression presentations have in public, but it may hit them when they're alone. Smiling Depression is considered by some to be potentially even more dangerous than typical depression because of the suppression, reluctance to seek help and, well, the excess of energy that they sometimes use in self-destructive ways? Thus they are sometimes at a high risk of suicide.

Now, was Miura sitting there thinking about what mental disorders Griffith might have had... no idea. I mean I wouldn't necessarily doubt it, he did talk about Griffith being unable to love women and probably being a victim of child abuse + his inability to reroute his life's path, so obviously he was thinking about Griffith's psychology.

But either way what I do think is that his own mindset colored the way he wrote Griffith - Miura has said that he was depressed while creating the Golden Age which is why the Eclipse so so extreme, for example - just like his own experience of childhood trauma and abuse obviously colored everything in the series and every character he wrote.

Plus Griffith (like Guts) is based on both him and Mori, and they were both depressive survivors of childhood abuse and/or neglect, so ptsd + depression seems to make sense.

Anyway, I don't know if that's what you were looking or hoping for, but hopefully it's interesting. <3

[unstablemotions]

hey march 5th is did awareness day so uhhh hi, i'm a did system

this blog was created waaaayyyy back when i was so fucking confused and no psychiatrist, therapist, psychologist, ect. could agree on what was wrong with me. back then, i got the diagnosis eupd impulsive type hence my url. this diagnosis has however since been removed

it's only fairly recently that i, or we, had our system discovery. we started bringing things up to our then psychiatrist. about how i felt like someone was taking over my body and that i was disappearing. that i sometimes would regress back to a little girl and i couldn't control it. they'd see it happening in therapy. they thought i might have a schizo-spec disorder and gave us antipsychotics. they didn't change anything and the schizotypal diagnosis was disregarded

my current therapist was the one who was like "this is not psychosis, this is dissociation". we are 26. we've been a mental health patient since we were 14. it was only recently that they thought to consider did - a diagnosis affecting 1.5% of all people. a diagnosis developing from complex early childhood trauma which was what i was there to get help for in the first place

i had no idea that what was going on with me was did. we thought that it felt and looked so much different. we didn't even think we had any type of dissociation at first. we simply thought that this was either normal or just symptoms from whatever else was up with our mind. we got angry at ourselves for showing symptoms of intense trauma, because we didn't realise that it was just that. complex trauma of a young girl who couldn't escape her abuse physically so the only thing she could was to dissociate

i think the most important did/mental health thing i want to spread awareness about is that you can't know what's going on inside the mind of anyone but yourself, so put away your psychoanalysis bs unless you're that specific person's psychiatrist/therapist/ect. and they have given you consent to do so. don't fakeclaim. don't armchair diagnose someone. don't be fucking ableist

this is a mess of a post bc im honestly having a headache rn from sleep deprivation. gonna post it anyway, stay safe y'all and stay proud <33

[pashterlengkap]

Donald Trump is “fearful of Alzheimer’s” since his father had it too

Mary Trump, the clinical psychologist and lesbian niece of GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump, discussed her uncle’s risk for dementia due to his family history, as well as how he had “no patience” for his own father’s cognitive decline in the 1990s. Fred Trump Sr., Donald Trump’s father, started showing signs of the disease in the late 1980s and was formally diagnosed with senile dementia in 1991. In the mid-1990s, the entire family met with Fred Trump Sr., where he didn’t recognize two of his own children and even appeared to ask his son, Donald Trump, for permission to buy a car. Related: Conservatives wanted “mental acuity” to be a top 2024 election issue. It’s blowing up in their face. “His mind is scrambled eggs!” “Donald just walked away, like, ‘Oh, God, get him away from me. He’s so annoying,’” Mary Trump told the Washington Post. “He had no patience, none whatsoever.” Your LGBTQ+ guide to Election 2024 Stay ahead of the 2024 Election with our newsletter that covers candidates, issues, and perspectives that matter. Daily * Weekly * Good News * “Turning 50 does make you think about mortality, or immortality, or whatever,” Donald Trump told Playboy in a 1997 interview. “It does hit you.” Associates of Donald Trump say that he grew more and more afraid that he, too, could suffer from dementia one day because of his family history. “Donald is no doubt fearful of Alzheimer’s,” an unnamed Trump Organization executive said. “He’s not going to talk about and not going to admit to it. But it’s relevant because every day he is hitting Biden with whether or not he is capable mentally of doing the job.” Donald Trump claims that he took the Montreal Cognitive Assessment — a test for signs of cognitive decline — twice, but the only time for which there are publicly available details is when he took it in 2018. He famously discussed taking the test with the media, repeating over and over how he was able to remember the words “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.” Related words, like “man” and “woman,” aren’t used in the sequence on that test. That test was administered by then-White House physician and current Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-TX), who drank so much while working at the White House that the U.S. Navy demoted him even though he had already retired from military service. Donald Trump has lied about the test to the media, claiming that he got “extra credit” for some of his answers (it’s not that kind of test) and that it included the question “Multiply 3,293 times four, divide by three.” The test is for basic cognition, not complicated arithmetic. “That’s not on the test,” Jackson, a Trump ally, admitted about the math question. “He was making a joke about how difficult it was.” The test, though, is not difficult for someone who is not suffering from dementia. The average score for a 71-year-old – the age when Donald Trump took it – is 27 out of 30. But even if he passed the test in 2018, the creator of the test – neurologist Ziad Nasreddine – said that it isn’t valid after six years and that someone at Donald Trump’s age should be tested every eighteen months to two years. “I don’t think we can state a test six years ago is valid today,” he said. “There’s higher risk as you get older, and it could turn into getting worse.” Donald Trump is also at a higher risk due to his family history. Alzheimer’s disease is partly genetic, with 40% to 65% of people diagnosed with it carrying one specific gene. “Trump does face an elevated familial risk of late onset Alzheimer’s disease (AD) as this was a major contributor to his father’s death,” the authors of a 2020 medical journal article wrote. Mary Trump noted that her uncle has said he is a “super genius” because of his “great genes,” so it’s not surprising that people are raising questions about Donald Trump’s possible cognitive decline. “If intelligence is a genetically inherited state,… http://dlvr.it/T4Y2tz

[likeabxrdinflight]

I want to, somewhat out of nowhere, discuss why I think some of the mental health/neurodivergence awareness posts that have taken off, especially on tiktok and instagram, can be...a bit troubling to me. And it's not because it isn't important to talk about mental health or to discuss ways in which developmental disorders impact people- it's not that. and it's definitely not wrong to encourage people who might be struggling to seek out care, community, and if possible/helpful, professional diagnosis.

but what is concerning is that a lot of these posts paint with...very broad brushes.

for example, I am not autistic. I have never been autistic, I am never going to be autistic. and I know this because, frankly, I have access to professional autism screening tools, I have diagnosed autism before, I know how this process works. and in the process of learning how to use these screening tools, I did what basically every psych in training does- I practiced them on my classmates, and they practiced on me. for self-report forms, I filled them out myself to learn how to score them. I know damn well that I do not reach diagnostic criteria for autism, I never have, I never will.

but if I was getting all my information from doctor tiktok? I might think it was more of a possibility. because you go on tiktok and you click on videos like "signs you have undiagnosed autism" and it gives you things like "anxiety at school" "don't like itchy tags" "exhaustion after social interactions", etc. very generic experiences that yes, could be affected by/a sign of autism, but are also things a lot of people without autism also experience.

as well, the thing that people pay lip service to but no one seems to actually understand, is that autism is a spectrum. and if we consider something a spectrum, we have to assume there is a middle ground between "definitely not autistic" and "very obviously autistic". most humans fall in this middle ground. which means most people are going to, at some times, display some autistic traits. I guarantee you if I gave every person on the face of the planet a standardized autism screener, not one person would score a perfect zero. that just does not happen.

I'm seeing the same thing happening now with trauma. everything under the sun is a trauma response now, apparently, with absolutely no lip service being paid to the fact that a lot of things that can be symptoms of and/or related to trauma, are not, by themselves, actual definite indicators of trauma. again, for some reason social anxiety comes up a lot. as if social anxiety disorder isn't a whole diagnosis by itself that is very definitely not always linked to a specific trauma!!!

and on that note it's also very troubling how attachment theory is taking off at an alarming pace, as if it is the end all be all of understanding trauma. holy hell people, I like attachment theory, I use it with patients all the time when it's relevant, but I know damn well it is an imperfect theory developed in the mid-20th century using now outdated methods of considering family life. attachment theory does not consider attachment to fathers/father figures, was deeply heteronormative, both idealizes and demonizes mothers simultaneously, and absolutely fails to consider how attachment systems might get disrupted later in life by peers and other significant figures. it's also a categorical theory which has inherent problems by itself. we are not always a perfect embodiment of one of the four attachment types, and dimensional measures of attachment show this pretty clearly. it's not a perfect theory, and you cannot possibly try to explain every single mental health system under the sun in relation to it. not everything is attachment trauma, s t o p.

anyways, these are just a few examples. but the point is, stop trying to play psychologist on tiktok. there is a reason it takes 5-7 years on average to get a damn PhD. I understand there's benefits to making mental health information accessible, and in general I'm in favor of that, but please. consider some information shouldn't be consumed in short form video content or in three slides on instagram. it is perfectly well and good to talk about your own experiences with a given diagnosis or condition, but the problem starts when you think that makes you an expert on diagnosing everyone else, when you think your experiences can generalize to others, and when you think that gives you permission to "educate" people on theories and ideas that you've not actually studied in any real depth. and it's especially troubling when it's obvious that this stuff is trendy right now, and you're a content creator who wants clicks and views.

[moondoposting]

We know Marc developed DID when he was around 8 (I believe that's how old he is in the flashbacks as a child). But I do really want to know when he was officially diagnosed. Like did Elias take him to see a psychologist as a child like in the comics where he was diagnosed or did he find out later? I really want to know how long he's known he has DID

ok disclaimer from post-writing me. i kind of typed a lot more than i thought i would. it is very stream of consciousness oh my god. also i do not have DID so any information comes from my own personal research and is not reflective of every experience. i will HAPPILY be corrected if anything ive said is harmful/incorrect. also if any of my timeline stuff is wrong!

oh my god when i say i was literally just having this exact thought anon PLEASE get out of my head

because ok

like you said, comics, we already know. but mcu, we dont get aaaaany indicators of when he found out iirc i think partially as a result of marvel's refusal to name it in the show but w/e

and its really setting me on an interesting path of thinking about marc going through most of his life like we see steven in episode 1. just kind of living his life, but with occasional blackouts that leave him somewhere he doesn't recognise having done something he doesn't remember. maybe even rationalising it to himself as a sleeping disorder like steven does.

like, the closest i could think of him finding out would be around 10 probs, if his dad takes him to a psychologist like in the comics (which side note, was so fucking well integrated and didnt feel stupid or forced literally marvel you could have just done this) or latest? honestly after his mom's death? like that event perpetuates a lot of things. and maybe the fact that he finds himself blacking out more and more prompts him to seek a diagnosis (even if he wasnt looking for a did diagnosis specifically).

mmm but then who was steven calling. i always assumed marc set up a number to call.

but then theres also khonshu saying his mind is broken or w/e and marc doesnt give an indication of either "wtf how did you know" or "wtf what are you talking about". and then theres marc saying he made the deal to "save us". but that might have been an after the fact realisation.

HONESTLY MAYBE HE ONLY FINDS OUT CAUSE KHONSHU IS MESSING AROUND IN THERE. khonshu finds this funny british guy bouncing around in his head and hes like "omg marc check this out" and marc has a whole existential crisis about it. so when khonshu finds ANOTHER guy in there hes like "yk im just gonna. keep quiet about this one" and silently feeds him snacks on the side.

cause he also doesnt mention getting booted from the army for a botched psych eval iirc!!! cant lie in an evaluation if you dont know what you have. maybe getting kicked out for the dissociative fugue state incident is what motivates him to get a diagnosis. maybe its mandated after the event. idk enough about military protocol to speak on that.

all is to say marc is definitely aware To Some Degree of what is going on with him, he just probably doesnt have a name for it. which is like. fine. diagnosis is helpful but its not the be all and end all of experience.

i think in any of these scenarios, at least when he was younger it was a lot easier to understand as an "imaginary friends" situation and maybe that faded as he grew up maybe it didnt IDK.

ok so tldr

situations where he would have gotten some kind of diagnosis that would be the most interest story-wise IMO

young, around 8-10 - follows the comics completely, has him spend most of his early life some degree of institutionalised (would explain his mental association with mental hospitals)

post military discharge - pretty big point in his backstory, would work to really solidify the shame he feels around his mental illness (being very public and on record and all that) and would make sense as there would probably be some kind of investigation into the incident that would lead to a diagnosis

post-steven's reappearance - would be the culmination of a Lot of things happening in his life to the point that even stubborn marc spector can't cope and seeks out help. would explain why layla didnt know as i personally believe he cuts contact with her after his mom's shiva. does bring into question a lot of the more solid aspects of steven's life tho, like the phone calls.

crack versions that make me laugh

khonshu just drops the bomb on marc one day and it fucks him up so severely that he never brings it up again

[ruby-whistler]

therapy psa

hey there! have you ever said, “(character) needs to go to therapy! they need to get them help they need” in fandom context? 

that’s cool! nothing wrong with that! i used to say and still say that a lot both before and after i went into therapy, because to put it simply, characters in nowadays’ media face a lot of very traumatizing and stressful situations in quick succession. however before i got my own treatment i had a lot of very confusing thoughts about what therapy actually entails, so as someone who has been going through cognitive-behavioural treatment (for ptsd and anxiety) for about a year, i’d like to perhaps just inform people who are unsure about the concept.

so uh, welcome to my essay! the gist of it is:

1. what a therapist does and doesn’t do 2. why that matters when talking about therapy or writing about it

just a quick note, again, that i am not licenced or professional or anything of that sort. i have an interest in psychology, but i’ve picked all of this stuff up by observing my own psychotherapist. if you feel like you need professional help, please reach out and try to schedule an appointment close to where you live.

1. so... what is therapy?

let me preface this by saying the main point of this post, which i will probably be repeating a couple of times throughout this: therapy =/= emotional support. your therapist isn’t there to hug you and tell you everything will be alright. so, what does a therapist do?

- professional diagnosis

your therapist will most likely give you sheets of paper to fill out at your first appointment, ask you questions, give you tasks to complete, psychoanalyze you and diagnose you. they will find out exactly what is going on with you; after all, they’ve been to school for that and as much as you might feel lost in your problems, they know what they are called, why they happen and how to solve them.

- instructions

the psychologist will not “therapize” you on the spot. think of it as piano lessons; you come there once to twice per two months for a one to (rarely) four hour session. most appointments sit around the one hour mark. much like on a piano session, you show off your progress in that one hour and talk about what things you’re having difficulty with. your therapist will then give you advice as to what you should try to do, and send you off for a few months to deal with life.

your therapist, and this is hard to swallow but important, will not coddle you. if you keep bringing up a problem over and over again because it seems large to you, but they keep changing the theme to something else, you might even get frustrated. but a (good) therapist knows more about your brain than you do. they’re not there to validate your feelings, they’re there to help get rid of the ones that stop you from functioning normally.

what they will do, is go; “hey. stop focusing on that so much. i know it makes your life hard, but it’s part of a larger problem. from an objective perspective, you should shift your attention to this issue and solve it instead. if it keeps happening, you do the breathing and mental exercises i taught you, but the only way to stop it is to try and resolve this underlying problem.”

a therapist 99% of the time will not have an emotional attachment to you. you’re a name in their many alphabetically sorted files from which they take out yours and check through their notes before each session. then they will help you solve your issues by explaining the things happening in your brain and instructing on how to fix them. nothing less or more. you will usually not have an attachment either, because that’s not the point of going to therapy. therapy isn’t emotional support. 

- further help

if your mental health issues/mental illnesses cross a certain line, your therapist will direct you to a psychiatrist for further help such as medicine or other kinds of treatment. most therapist do cognitive-behavioural therapy, which “helps people learn how to identify and change destructive or disturbing thought patterns that have a negative influence on behavior and emotions.” however, in intense cases this is not enough. your psychotherapist will help you get the additional treatment you need.

another thing they can do is legal things! documents, things to give to your school, job, the authorities, other technical things. they are a higher authority when it comes to a lot of things, and can make your life easier.

- other

this doesn’t mean you can’t talk about life or must be all objective or only talk about the negatives. your therapist will often try to get you to view your issues in a more positive light, ask about other things that make you happy or distract you. you are pretty much free to ramble to them! they’re happy to know, and if it makes you feel better, there is no need to be all gloomy at your therapist appointments. if your therapist is alright with you rapping the entirety of hamilton at some point, or you explaining c!dream’s arc on the dream smp, feel free. if you feel happy talking about something, that’s good! you have something to latch onto and distract yourself from the hell in your brain. 

i’ve learned that thinking about things that give you comfort when things get rough is a big part of cognitive-behavioural treatment, in order to stop that good ol’ thought spiral of anxiety.

2. why is this important to know?

well, i think a thing many people overlook when talking about fictional characters going into therapy is the fact that,, therapy by itself often isn’t enough.

i asked my therapist a few days ago what my family could do when i’m having an anxiety attack. she replied, “they can be there for you. they can keep up conversation, distract you from the stressor, assure you that nothing bad is really happening and that they care about you.”

this is something really important that people forget; emotional support does wonders. your friends, family, whoever, if they provide support it’s suddenly much less terrifying to go through the healing process.

a character being sent to therapy and left to fend for themselves is not a happy ending. it’s not going to heal them quickly, it will be extremely difficult to go through all that on their own. the more the people who care about you understand your struggles and try to be there for you, the less scary it gets. they’ll ground you, they’ll hug you, they’ll make you a mug of hot chocolate and they’ll hold your hand and say “everything’s ok. everything will be ok”. because the mental harm in your brain is more often than not a consequence of things being not ok in the past. remembering that it is ok now is important. having emotional support can both remind your that it’s all in your head, and assure you that your feelings are valid and people will be there for you for as long as it takes for things to finally be ok, or as ok as they can be.

as much as professional help is very important, this is vital to the healing process. having people be there for you and just having people who support you in general. 

i think people should put more weight on that than just “character needs therapy.” character needs therapy and emotional support. these two go together, and character needs both. you might be, or try to be strong, but it’s comforting to be.... well, comforted. “get them the help they need” no. get them the help they need and then on top of that provide the help they need. 

that’s all. just something i thought was important to remember.

- ruby

[waragainstyourfaith]

Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.

Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.

On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.

During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.

However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.

I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.

And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.

In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.

So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.

Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.

To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.

What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.

The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.

The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.

Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.

We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.

Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.

Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.

He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.

And then we come to the second half of season three.

Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.

I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.

Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.

This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.

Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.

Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation,  this is the point it all cuts lose.

At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.

The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself. 

It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.

God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.

In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.

This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.

In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.

The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.

[pinelesstree]

just a thing about adhd

i figure i probably have it but there’s the whole thing of thinking you’re faking too and i don’t want to ask to see anyone about it

bc i don’t ‘seem’ adhd to other people but when i look at posts by people with adhd they all seem a lot like what i do so

ye p

but then i could just be kidding myself into thinking i do those things

👍👍👍👍

(Long post ahead folks)

Ohhh boy, the famous question of "am I faking it?" Shows up in a lot of people with physical and/or mental illnesses. If you have access to a doctor and can get a diagnosis, you can get some relief, but sometimes you can't help but wonder. If you can't get access to a doctor, these concerns likely won't go away any time soon.

While I don't advise self-diagnosing, just for funsies, let's look at the symptoms of ADHD! The DSM-5 is what psychologists use to diagnose ADHD, so while this isn't a diagnosis, maybe this'll help you get a clearer picture of what symptoms come with ADHD!

TYPE 1: Inattentive. To fall under this category, you relate to at least six of the following symptoms and have been experiencing them for over 6 months: *failing to notice small details *difficulty maintaining attention *difficulty listening to others (mind is somewhere else) *easily distracted/sidetracked when trying to finish tasks *difficulty keeping organized, whether in belongings or deadlines *avoidance of work that requires a lot of mental effort *often losing things *difficulty keeping focused *forgetful in daily activities

TYPE 2: Hyperactivity-impulsivity. To fall under this category, you at least six of the following symptoms (or for 17 and older, at least five), and have been experiencing them for over 6 months: *fidgeting *can't sit still *feeling restless *difficulty keeping quiet in leisure activities *always “on the go,” as if driven by a motor. *Talking excessively *interrupting and blurting out in conversations *impatience *interrupts/intrudes on what others are doing, or taking over

(Btw, this is also assuming these symptoms aren't caused by another type of mental illness, like schizophrenia, anxiety, personality disorders, etc)

So, if you relate mostly to category one but not two, then it might be a sign of inattentive type ADHD (used to be referred to as ADD). If you relate mostly to category two but not one, it might be a sign of hyperactive-impulsive type ADHD. If you relate to both, it might be a sign of combined type ADHD.

Anon, don't be afraid to reach out to get help if you're able to! Just because you "don't seem" like you have ADHD to other people, it doesn't mean you don't have it. If you're unable to get a diagnosis now, just be nice to yourself and realize you're trying your best with what you have. I wish you luck!

[xcherry-popx]

if its not too weird to ask, could you write some posts abt rad + asd (either one or both/abt comorbidity)? cuz i wanna find more info abt them & i saw stuff saying asd/rad cmrbidity was impossible too & think i may have both. i have zero access to mental health help atm and will for a pretty long time so im just doing what i can as i wait, document my symptoms and stuff and try to cope, for now. (btw im saying this 2 clarify tht im not trying to be invasive or out of curiosty. sry its so long)

It's no problem! Honestly, I'm excited to hear about someone like me, with how uncommon it is. No need to worry about it being long, because my answer ended up long as well ^-^;;

I wrote this quicker than I expected, so please forgive any mistakes, and feel free to ask for clarification. 

I’m mostly going to use the term ‘RAD’ (reactive attachment disorder), but a lot of this information applies to DAD (disinhibited attachment disorder) as well. I was diagnosed when they were still grouped together as RAD.

If any information does not apply to both, I’ll specify the differences between them.

First off: there is no reason autism and RAD can’t be comorbid. Now, most psychologist insist that they cannot exist together, but this is outdated. Unfortunatly, because RAD is so uncommon, very little discussion occurs, and thus any progress in understanding the disorder takes a bit of time.

Fortunately, some discussion has begun. This study is one from 2017. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27895198/

As of now, it’s the only scholarly discussion, but hopefully that will change in time.

Essentially, autism is something you’re born with, while Reactive Attachment Disorder is the result of severe neglect or mistreatment.

The study found that several children diagnosed with RAD met the criteria for autism. The difference in children with autism and RAD vs children with only RAD can be distinguished by focusing on traits specific to autism.

That’s actually how I first suspected I had both: I looked through several diagnosis lists and checked whether I had symptoms exclusive to each list.

One of the current diagnostic criteria for RAD  and DAD is that the child cannot also be diagnosed with autism. This is because RAD, and later, DAD, were often used to explain ‘autistic-like behavior’ in children who either did not show signs of autism early on, or who experienced severe mistreatment.

The main reason this is outdated is because it relies on the belief that autistic individuals do not form attachments to caregivers, which many autistic people will tell you is false. That all relates back to the idea that because autistic people show affection differently, they do not feel it the way allistic people do, which is, again, false.

It’s often difficult to get an RAD diagnosis, much less one along with an autism diagnosis. However, it’s not impossible, although for me it involved two different diagnosises that my grandma and I realized made most sense together.

Under the cut, I’m going to talk more generally about RAD and DAD as well as about my experiences.

 You said you don't have much access to mental health help, but I felt I should include this next segment anyways. 

Attachment therapy, one of the most well-known treatments, is harmful. I would suggest avoiding it. It goes against attachment theory, the basis of RAD. I don’t say this to scare you, but it is coercive and has resulted in death in some cases. You can look into it yourself, but it is rather sickening for me, so please take care if you do so.

While most advice involves making sure the child has an emotionally available ‘attachment figure’, usually a caretaker, that assumes you would want someone to connect to that way.

As someone with inhibited type RAD, I always struggled when people asked if I wanted to be closer to my grandma. To me, we were like strangers, maybe coworkers. I didn't want to open up to her, and so I still don’t.

I believe that, while it’s nice to have a friendly relationship with caretakers, it’s not necessary. For me, it’s always been more important to have friends I can open up to.

Don’t feel pressured to form an emotionally intimate relationship if you don’t want to or feel ready for it. I still don’t think I’m close to my grandma, but we feel like acquaintances now, and that’s enough for me. You don’t have to force a relationship, but don’t be afraid if you want to start one.

Of course, you may have different experiences, or be in a different place with your caretakers, but since I've struggled with that aspect I wanted to talk about it.

Most treatment for RAD is under the assumption that the child is young, which I assume you are not. In general, I suggest finding people you can trust, if you don’t have them already. I don’t want to make too many assumptions here, so if you want more specific advice feel free to ask me.

While RAD is the result of mistreatment such as abuse or neglect, it’s rare even among those who have experienced such things. There’s some debate on why it occurs, and I believe many theories suggest disposition can make one susceptible? But I’m not entirely certain on that front. Also, I’d like to clarify one thing. While most criteria says the mistreatment must begun before age five, it’s not necessary. What happened to me was when I was 11, and it changed me enough that I gained a official diagnosis of RAD a few years later. What matters is how it affected you, not when it occurred.

Now, I’ve mentioned there’s a difference between RAD and DAD, but I haven’t specified what it is. I'll explain that, but to do so I need to talk about how they form.

The basis of RAD and DAD is what’s called attachment theory. This states that young children need strong bond with at least one caregiver to develop. The bonds with their caregivers dictate how their attachment style forms. However, RAD and DAD have their own types of attachment, referred to as inhibited attachment and disinhibited attachment.

They used to both be classified as RAD, separated under the categories ‘inhibited type’ and ‘disinhibited type’.

Many people with inhibited or disinhibited type will show signs of both, but can usually be classified as one or the other. I am inhibited type, but when I was younger I showed signs of disinhibited type in places such as school.

Inhibited attachment is what’s known as Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s more common in mistreated children. This type is when a child avoids or ignores caregivers, often not showing affection unless convinced to.

Disinhibted attachment is what’s now known as Disinhibited Attachment Disorder. This is more common in children in institutions or group homes. This type shows affection to any and all adults. They are quick to trust strangers. When my grandma worked in foster care, she had some children who, after less than a day of meeting her, would cling to her leg and beg her to take them home.

In this case, inhibited types struggle to form attachments, while disinhibited types will form attachments quickly and easily, with no preference towards their caregivers.

I think that’s all for official information, so I'll talk a bit about my experiences with RAD.

Honestly, it’s isolating. It’s often seen as something that happens to children, and no one talked about adults with it. There’s numerous psychologists who’ll misdiagnose it in foster teens for not showing affection to adoptive parents ‘the way theyʻre supposed to’. Many people treat people with RAD or DAD as ‘psychopaths’, and there’s numerous times I’ve seen it listed as ‘terrifying’, even among the social workers that meet kids with it.

It's discouraging. But I want to tell you that you aren’t alone. I’d be happy to talk to you about your experiences, and share my own. I have hope that people will begin to recognize this disorder despite how uncommon it is, and see it for what it is.

In any case, I hope you are able to find the diagnosis you need, even if it doesn’t turn out to be this one. I wish you the best of luck!